Bitter Still
by Rosetta Stoned
Summary: Naruto has grown into a mature and intelligent young man leaving all his old childish desire behind. Suddenly a ghost from the past has come back to haunt him.
1. Prologue

I wondered my whole life about Sasuke. Since the first day I had seen him; since the first time I knew who he was, I wondered. I thought about him a lot when I was younger. He was like some silent idol I held in my heart. He was everything I wanted to be. He was strong, and smart, and fast, and more than anything else he was popular. The whole village loved him and they looked at him with pity in their eyes. They felt sorry for him and his lonesome self. While they looked upon me, alone myself, and treated me like a worthless, dangerous monster.

Sasuke was everything I wasn't. We were complete opposites, but at the same time we shared this bond that no one in the whole world could understand. We shared our loneliness.

But even with this unspoken common ground we shared, and this pedestal I put him on, I hated him. I hated every fiber of his self absorbed being. He was everything I wished I was, and everything every girl wished was their's but none of that mattered to him. He was an asshole and all he cared about was himself. All he cared about was some stupid vendetta he had on his chest, like it ran in his veins and kept his heart pumping. He didn't care when I decided he was my friend, he didn't care when Sakura cried for him when we all thought he was dead, he didn't care that I trained for three years just so I could bring him home. And he especially didn't care when I decided I was going to bring him back to Konoha if it was the last god damned thing I did.

No. He never cared.

But I didn't care, I never cared. I hated him, sure, but I didn't care that he didn't care. I didn't let it stop me. My whole life I wondered about Sasuke. I wondered why he didn't care, why he never would, why he ran away, why he wouldn't come back. Every time I came up without an answer I hated him even more. But even if I hated him, I never stopped loving him. . .

- - -

He was stupid. I hated him. I hated him from the first time I ever saw him. I layed my eyes on him and knew that he was going to be the bane of my existence. He obsessed over me, more than the wretched pink haired girl. He felt he had some moral duty to protect me from my own end. He was always in the way. Even when we were children and he was nothing but a speck in the background.

As much as I hated him, I respected him more than I did any other person in the entire village. He was the only person I knew that had it in him to hate me as much as I hated him and everyone else. He wasn't like every other villager, he didn't pity me, he didn't feel sorry for me because I was alone. How could he? He was as alone as I was. This fact was the only thing we shared, and it was the only thing that kept me from killing him from the start.

I tried to kill him once. I lie, I've tried to kill him twice. Every time I'd come so close, I'd be just moments away from ending his life when something in me would snap and I would lose my nerve. He was the only thing I couldn't kill. My brother was no task, once I had my mind on it, it was done and he was dead. But Naruto was something impossible. He was disgusting, he was filthy, he was wretched, he was my only weakness. I pitied him. Didn't I?

I hated him, after all. If I hated him, then how was it that I felt some other feeling inside me for him? I ran away from him my whole life. Was I running toward some validation of my existence, or was I running away from one of the only things I ever loved?


	2. Chapter 1

**AN**: Welcome to the first official chapter of _Bitter Still_. This will be my first attempt at a serious SasuNaru fan fiction. I hope it turns out nicely. I want it so much to be romance, but I don't know if I can pull it off with a straight face. lol Please, review me ASAP. I need feedback on this one, guys. Seriously!

* * *

I rolled over onto my side. It was early morning and I was hardly awake. My arm was hanging off the bed, I could feel the carpet on my knuckles. The sun was starting to peek through my blinds, and there were birds singing outside. It was a beautiful morning.

"Naruto-kun~" Sakura sang to me from the kitchen.

I smiled a little remembering last night's encounter we shared between the sheets. It was everything I could have dreamed of, which sounded corny. But it was the truth. I first met Sakura when I was eleven. It was her first year in the academy, but me being all orphaned I was permitted to join a year before. For some reason I still hadn't advanced any – I can't deny that as a child I was a talentless, outcasted, moron. Anywho, I met her the first day she appeared there, I knew right then that I loved her. She – on the other hand - hated me from the start. And why was this so? Because of that pompous, irritating, smug little basted. His name was Uchiha Sasuke, and I've always hated him.

Oh but Sakura. She loved him. She adored him. She idolized him. And for what? So he could run out on the entire village and betray us all one day? He was out of my life now, and for good. I loved him once, but I've grown in the past three years. I realized soon after his last duck off of my radar that he was not worth my time, any longer.

I got the girl in the end. She eventually came to love me as much as I loved her, and last night was the night before my eighteenth birthday – that being today. One thing Sakura promised me a long time ago was a special eighteenth birthday. I was promised this on my seventeenth birthday because I wanted the same thing. But no, Sakura made me wait.

My God, that extra year was completely worth it.

Last night had been the night of my dreams, absolutely perfect; romantic, sensual, and most importantly hot. I grinned to myself relaying the event in my mind. Sakura slipped back into my room with my jacket on. It was unzipped, so I could tell she hadn't put a top back on – or even a bra for that matter – she was wearing the same lacey white panties I had flung across my room the night before. How she managed to find them again was beyond me.

"I made you a birthday breakfast." She grinned at me and she plopped down on the edge of my bed with a bowl of cereal in her hand. There was a small red candle standing up in the middle of it. It was lit and was flickering in my face.

I smiled over at her. "No need to do anything else for me, not after last night." My warm smile turned to a sultry grin. I we playing it all over again in my head for the third time this morning. "Oh Goddess of sex and beauty." I laughed lightly.

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes with a grin on her face. I could tell she had enjoyed it as much as me. I could still hear her saying my name. Yes, by this point my piggish male ego was raging. "Naru-san." She said lightly. "Today is your birthday; I am going to treat you to a nice afternoon out with friends." She smiled at me.

I could see in her shallow green eyes that she meant well. "Neji and Ino are your friends." I reminded her.

"You're friends with Ino!" She insisted. "We're going to this little festival right outside the village, it'll be fun. I know you love carnival food." At this point she was trying to sway me in the direction of the _afternoon out with friends_ with food. I did love carnival food.

- - -

I suddenly found myself lured into Sakura's web, and before I realized I was had we were on our way to the gate out of Konoha to meet Ino and Neji.

Oh they were a joyful couple; always happy, never fighting. I really didn't know how they did it. Not. They were always fighting, almost like siblings – which was a disturbing thought. I loved Ino, and I even loved Neji, but I could hardly stand either of them since they had gotten together. The problem was that they were both very stubborn people. Neither of them were the type who were quick to back out an argument, and they certainly weren't about to do it when they were arguing with each other. O be honest I had lost my luster for both of them.

We must have approached them at the end of another meaningless argument. They were standing a yard or two away from each other. They both had a bitter look on their face. Sakura immediately ran to Ino's side and began gabbing with her. Neji and I followed the chatting girls through the gate silently. He wasn't much of a talker in the first place, but especially not after one of their fights.

After a few good minutes of awkward silence between Neji and I, I left his side and retreated to Sakura's I slipped my fingers between hers. She turned to me momentarily to smile. I smiled back and noticed that Neji was slowly creepy to Ino's side. I had to admit that it was kind of cute when he mirrored my move on Sakura to Ino. When they weren't fighting, Ino and Neji were a really cute couple.

But that, unfortunately, wasn't often.

Soon enough we reached the carnival, I could smell the food as we were approaching. I felt like a little boy again, I was so eager to play the games and buy some cotton candy. There had come a point in my life by now, where I had started to leave my childish ways behind. I was a lot more mature than I once was, and I had learned that ignorance was not bliss. I started learning again. I wanted to be something Sakura wanted. I managed to make myself smarter, and it was all for her.

I turned to look at her again; God how I loved her. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek

We walked into a crowd of people; there were elders, adults, and even children buzzing around everyone. They all had a smile on their face. I fell into an almost childlike flurry taking Sakura by the hand and dragging her from one game stand to another.

"I'm glad to see you are enjoying yourself." She smiled at me as we approached one those stands where you throw the darks at the paint willed balloons.

"I really am." I smiled softly at her. "Thank you for making me come." I kissed her on the cheek again.

"You're welcome, my love." She smiled back at me.

I paid the man inside the booth a couple of bills and he handed me five darts. I pulled my arm back and let the dart fly out of my fingers. I popped one balloon. "I'll win you a bear as a thank you." I said to Sakura. She nodded back at me. I repeated myself, but this time I didn't pop a balloon.

"You have to pop three balloons to win." The man reminded me.

I nodded and repeated my ritual. I failed to pop another balloon. I frowned for a second, but I move on quickly; I was going to win Sakura a stuffed animal. On my next two throws I succeeded and the man plucked one of the stuffed bears off the clothes line they were hanging on and handed it to my pink haired beauty.

"Thank you so much." She grinned at me with a particular shine in her eye.

"You're welcome." I grabbed her free hand gently and we perused the strip of booths aimlessly. It wasn't long before we realized that Ino and Neji were no longer trailing behind us. I hadn't noticed them since we stopped at the ring toss booth.

"Maybe we should look for them." Sakura pleaded.

"No, come on. I'm sure they are having a fine time, and I wanted to spend my birthday alone with my perfect girlfriend anyways." I smiled.

She smiled back at me. The sky was starting to turn shades of pink and orange above us, the day at the carnival had flown by. "Well they've been missing for a long time. We should stop and get something to eat, and then we can look for them and go home." She insisted.

I sighed unenthusiastically. "I supposed that'll do." I caved into her.

When we finally made out way to a food stand, we had come across the pair. They had probably had eleven fights since we had lost track of them, but right now they seemed to be getting along. Sakura and I ordered something small to munch on and we soon joined out friends and announced that our little date was coming to an end. The sky, at this time, was turning to a deep navy shade, and the lamps were lighting up between the booths as the stars were beginning to fill the sky.

"I figured you needed one last day to act like a child." Sakura revealed to me as we neared the far end of the carnival. Our exit was nearing.

"How ingenious of you." I grinned down at her. My arm was wrapped tightly around her.

"Why thank you." She smiled up at me and then closed her eyes resting her head on my chest as we walked. I loved that she trusted me enough to left me guide her through the crowd.

I looked up at the sky for a moment. When I looked back a head of me, I felt someone brush my shoulder. I say brush my shoulder as if they didn't almost knock me to the ground.

"Hey!"

I exclaimed staring daggers at the hooded white figure rushing around me. Whoever it was they were quick, and dressed more as a ninja and less like a carnival goer. I couldn't make this fact alarming at any angle, because my small group and I were ninjas ourselves. If we were permitted to attend this fair, I couldn't argue that others weren't. Even so, there was no need to be rushing away from it so quickly and rudely. By the time I had it in me to get a good look at the figure all I could see was their sleekly sheath katana strapped to their broad white back disappearing into the crowd ahead of us.

At any rate they were headed in the same direction as us, so I would probably see them around Konoha eventually.

"What happened?" Sakura glared up at me.

"Someone ran into me, I'm sorry." I kissed her on the top of the head and she looked back ahead of us.

"How rude."

"I know." I laughed a little.

- - -

When we reached the village once again our group retreated to their own corners of the village. I walked Sakura back to her apartment, and I then returned to mine.

When I got home the windows were dark as I had left them. I slipped my key into the lock and turned it. The dead bolt slid open and I pushed open the door. I walked into my cold, silent apartment and flipped on the light. My living room became illuminated. While my apartment wasn't very big, it felt kind of vast and lonely without Sakura here. She was very much the glue of my life. My whole life I had been alone. I was alone from the day I was born all the way to the day I was assigned to team seven with Sakura and Sasuke. Kakashi even became a big part of my life.

I gained a lot of friend that year, and I even lost one. Well, not that the insufferable prick would ever admit to being my friend, but I knew that somewhere deep inside his malice ridden heart he loved me like a true friend. Or at least that was what I liked to believe. It felt like soon after Sasuke left, I had no one to share my lonesomeness with, not that I ever shared any pointless details of my life verbally with him, but we had an odd connection. I felt completely alone all over again.

Maybe that's why I felt so obligated to bring him back. Because he was the only one that truly understand what it was like to be alone. The fact that no one was able to relate to me anymore scared me.

That is until Sakura came into my life, finally.

I sighed to myself and made it back to my bedroom. The door was already open, although I could have sworn I had closed it. I brushed the thought away. I knew it was possible that I could have left the door open, and just thought I closed it. It sounded completely logical.

What didn't make any since was that my bedroom window was open. I knew for a fact that it hadn't been open when I left, because I never opened my window. I inched toward the window, the curtains on either side were being blown into my room by the wind. When I was sure there was no threat on the other side I brought myself all the way over to it. I stuck my head through the window and looked around the outside. No one appeared to be there at this time, but I could count on them coming back.

When I was teaching myself to be more mature and more intelligent I took it upon myself to brush up on my ninja skills. I could tell that whoever had been here wanted me to be aware that they had come by. It wasn't like a ninja to forget something as obvious as closing a window on their way out. They wanted me to be aware of their presence, but the fact that they didn't leave anything in my room a mess, or the rest of my house was odd. I deduced leaving their entry way into my house open signified that they were assuring me of their return.

I didn't feel very uneasy. I felt a little anxious, actually. I couldn't even start to fathom who would want into my house when I wasn't home. If this was a serious situation then I couldn't count on it being anyone I knew. Whoever had been here was an unknown assailant.

I squinted my eyes suspiciously, looking around my room. I didn't feel anyone else's presence, so I could be absolutely sure that they weren't still here. I walked around my apartment checking things out, just to make sure. I flipped every light back off as I retreated to bed. I even shut the window on my way into bed.

- - -

I woke up the next morning to the usual sunrays peeping through my blinds, or at least I thought. The light was flooding my room more than usual. I turned over in my bed a little nervous to face my window, but when I did I found that it was open again.

"What the hell?" I leapt out of bed and ran over to the window. Who the hell could be behind this? And what on Earth was their motive? I slammed the window shut and turned around to go get breakfast.

I still didn't feel very threatened.

As I was walking out of my bedroom, I smashed into someone attempting to walk into my room. As both our bodies crashed to the floor I hoped it was whoever was sneaking into my house. But when my vision became unblurred I realized it was just Sakura.

"Sakura!" I cried shooting up to my feet to pull her to hers.

"Geez, what's the rush?" She rubbed her backside.

"Sakura, did you open my window this morning? Or last night when we left?" I demanded.

"No?" She had an upward inflection at the end of her reply, indicating that it was more of a question than an answer. "I just got here."

"Oh…" I said softly. "Ok then."

"Why do you ask?" Her voice sounded suspicious.

"Don't worry about it." I assured her.

- - -

The day passed rather uneventfully. Sakura eventually left me apartment to run off to her new internship at the hospital. I sat at my house until the early afternoon. I met my love for lunch, and then spent a good bit of time until early evening in the town square. I spoke with Ino for a while; the two of us were almost as bad as Sakura and her when it came to gossiping. It was one truth that deservingly stripped me of all masculinity. When Sakura wasn't available, Ino came running to me for help with her slightly more serious feuds with Neji. Sakura may have been the love of my life, but I had to admit that Ino was probably my best friend.

A lot had changed between us since I was younger. She eventually pulled the pole out of her ass and stopped hating Sakura. When I started going out with Sakura, she convinced Ino not to hate me. We've never looked back. We were so close now it was a little ridiculous.

"So why do you stay with Neji if you guys fight all the time?" I posed, honestly curious on the manner. Ino sat back on her stool behind the counter of the flower shop her family owned. I was leaning over that same counter. She stood up and got really close to my face.

"Honestly?" She grinned at me.

I had to smirk a little. "Do I _honestly_ want to know?" She bit her lip in rebuttal. "Alright, shoot."

"He. Fucks. So. Good." She chanted, still close to my face.

I closed my eyes and scrunched up my face. I had known something along those lines was coming. "Why did I even ask?" I stood up straight shuddering the thought out of my mind.

Ino clasped her eyes shut and bit her bottom lip with her entire top row of teeth. She took in a tight, deep breath through her teeth. I could tell she was recalling it.

"Oh God." I turned away from her frantically.

"That's what I said!" She cried, torturing me further.

"Ino! Stop!" I begged.

"Alright, alright." She coaxed me down.

"I'm sorry but the thought of Neji even being naked creeps me out." I admitted. The thought was completely wrong, but it was burned into my memory. The imaged of Neji standing awkwardly in a spot light, stark raving naked, with black space all around him just kept relaying over and over in my mind. I shuddered one more time for good measure, praying that this would shake the thought away forever.

- - -

After my mildly awkward conversation with Ino I returned home, almost expecting my window to be open again. When I walked into my bedroom and it wasn't I was a little stunned. I had to wait around for Sakura to get off of work. I guess a little part of my knew that I probably shouldn't be hanging around my apartment for any extended periods of time alone considering the odd reoccurrences that had gone down. But I still wasn't starting to feel intimidated by it.

Sakura did eventually come to my rescue. We sat around for a while watching TV before we started to get hungry. I was an eighteen year old boy living on my own; it wasn't like there was anything in my kitchen cabinets except some instant cup ramen. The fact that I was surviving without a mother or wife to cook for me was a testimonial to _all _young, lazy men living alone. I decided to treat Sakura to a night out.

We traveled across town to the Food District of our large village and looked for a nice place to eat. We came across a nice little sushi bar. It was a lot nicer than the ramen shop or the dango hut that I was used to. It was larger in scale, by far, than both typical eateries put together. We walked in, and were actually seated by a waiter.

"So I heard you had a funny conversation with Ino, today." Sakura grinned at me over her tall menu.

"Please. Don't remind me." I pleaded.

She giggled lightly and then left it alone.

The waiter eventually appeared at the end of our table and took our orders. We chatted lightly as we waited for our food to arrive. Simple things like how our days had been, how we had slept last night. The conversation eventually drifted in the direction of my birthday, or rather the night prior to my birthday. Our waiter trotted past our table and stopped to tell us that our food would be out soon.

"I need to visit the little Shinobi's room." I joked as I stood up and left the table.

The bathroom was located near the entrance of the restaurant, so I waltzed away from the dining area and through the bathroom door with the little man symbol on it. After taking care of business and washing my hands I left the restroom to return to my table. When I walked out into the foyer I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Sitting on the bench right in front of the window of the restaurant was a familiar figure. I stood still examining the back of the white hooded figure with the same sleek black katana strapped to their back that I had seen at the carnival the night before. I started walking toward the door to get a look at the person's face, but before I could even reach for the push sign, they got up and quickly started walking in the opposite direction.

I decided that I needed to return to my date, and pursuing this faceless character was not worth getting yelled at later. When I returned to the table the food had arrived, and Sakura had begun eating.

"Is it good?" I smiled as I took my seat.

"Very." She nodded at me taking another bite of her food.

We chatted lightly once again as we ate our meals, when the date was over I walked Sakura home again. Luckily her apartment was on the way to mine this time. I kissed her goodnight and walked back to my own home.

- - -

As I had anticipated, my bedroom window was open when I got home. This was becoming all too routine; even so I didn't feel afraid. I sat in my living room for most of the night, and when it was finally late enough for bed I headed in that direction.

As I was undressing – with the window closed at this point – I noticed something off about the things on my dresser. I had a little bottle of cologne, a hairbrush, and a frame with a picture of Sasuke, Kakashi, Sakura, and I in it. When I was finally ready to admit to myself that I was ready for Sasuke to be out of my life for good I laid the picture face down, and for two and a half years it had been just as that.

Tonight however, the frame was sitting up right. It had been almost strategically turned around to face my wall, instead of outward toward my room. An electric shock hit me in the spine as I considered the possibility of who had been visiting my house. Feeling sick I backed up and finally found my bed to fall on.

I sat staring at the frame for a minute confused, scared, angry, and most oddly of all: excited. Finally the fear had started to kick in, but it was being outweighed by my excitement – that and my anger. _If Sasuke was coming here . . ._ _I thought. I don't know what I'll do_ . . . My thoughts were so scattered that I couldn't complete one fast enough before another would start. It was static electricity was keeping my heart beating. The shock had already killed me, but my hatred was somehow keeping me alive. I peered over my shoulder at the closed window behind me. I swallowed hard unsure of what to expect next. I walked across my room and shut off my light.

I laid in bed for a long time thinking.

I wondered my whole life about Sasuke. Since the first day I had seen him; since the first time I knew who he was, I wondered. I thought about him a lot when I was younger. He was like some silent idol I held in my heart. He was everything I wanted to be. He was strong, and smart, and fast, and more than anything else he was popular. The whole village loved him and they looked at him with pity in their eyes. They felt sorry for him and his lonesome self. While they looked upon me – alone myself – like trash and treated me like a worthless, dangerous monster.

Sasuke was everything I wasn't. We were complete opposites, but at the same time we shared this bond that no one in the whole world could understand. We shared our loneliness.

But even with this unspoken common ground, and this pedestal I put him on, I hated him. I hated every fiber of his self absorbed being. He was everything I wished I was, and everything every girl wished was theirs but none of that mattered to him. All he cared about was some stupid vendetta he had on his chest, like it ran in his veins and kept his heart pumping. He didn't care when I decided he was my friend; he didn't care when Sakura cried for him when we all thought he was dead; he didn't care that I trained for three years just so I could bring him home; and he especially didn't care when I decided I was going to bring him back to Konoha if it was the last god damned thing I did.

No. He never cared.

But _I _didn't care, I _never_ cared. I hated him, sure, but _I_ didn't care that _he_ didn't care. I didn't let it stop me. My whole life I wondered about Sasuke. I wondered _why_ he didn't care; why he never would; why he ran away; and why he wouldn't come back. Every time I came up without an answer I hated him even more. But even if I hated him, I never stopped loving him. . .

My eyes eventually shut, and my mind eventually stopped racing. At last I had found something close to peace, and I was now able to sleep.

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**AN**: As I always demand: do not hold any errors, gramatically or spelling, against me. I worked on this all day, so once I'm finally finished, I'm not looking to reread the whole thing in search of mistakes. Take it or leave it, guys. As I previously stated, please oh please review. I am really going to need some support and help on this one. So send in the love!


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